Epsilon: Yes, I know, and they will all "drown in flames".

Blade: Okay, so I did that rant already.

Epsilon: Correct. For here, we have to have entirely new rants!

Blade: How about how much better it is than Eva, even though it sank into obscurity precisely because it was released at the same time?

Epsilon: Clue for the clueless, kids...when a series loses all attempts at coherence halfway through the series, that does not make it a good series.

Blade: It has to be incoherent from the BEGINNING of the series, like Lain or Excel Saga!

Epsilon: And unlike in Nadia, ADV actually released the Omake Theatres with Blue Seed in North America.

Blade: So that's where all the incomprehensible stuff went!

Epsilon: Well, that, and the explanation for what exactly (spoiler deleted) wanted to do. Like, was he just trying to (spoiler deleted) when he (spoiler deleted)?

Blade: Why are you bothering to spoiler delete? It's not like we care in any of the other reviews.

Epsilon: Well, if I didn't delete all the spoilers, we'd actually be telling them something about the series! Once you get past the first five episodes, everything is a spoiler.

Blade: Hmm, you're right. Can't have that. Well, fall back on ranting about the dub, then: the dub is better. Watching Sakura Yamazaki in any language besides English is unholy sacrilige.

Epsilon: Yes, boys and girls, Blade is one of those rare people who actually enjoys dubs more than the Japanese originals half the time. Or at least is willing to admit it, unlike the purists on RAAM.

Blade: This is because most Japanese voice work stinks.

Epsilon: This is because the Japanese have stock voices for every character archetype and never bother to change them, even when it's completely inappropriate for that character. Like, say, Mousse.

Blade: And, of course, most women talk in retardedly squeaky voices that don't sound like humans at all.

Epsilon: But then again, they do that in their workplace too, so I suppose the Japanese can be excused for expecting women to talk like that.

Blade: Doesn't explain the unwashed American fanboys, though.

Epsilon: The unwashed American fanboys are obsessed with anything Japanese, no matter how stupid it is.

Blade: Which brings us back to Evangelion, now doesn't it?

(CONTROVERSY!!!)

Epsilon: Now, before all the people who actually want a Blue Seed review track us down and tear off our heads...

Blade: Or just do so for other inexplicable reasons...

Epsilon: Right. Perhaps we should do the summations.

Blade: Oh, if we must.

Epsilon: Blue Seed is basically a giant monster anime with no giant mecha to fight them. Instead, they make do with sacrificial victims, somebody born from a plant, and quasi-realistic modern technology. This explains why the heros are usually losing throughout most of the series. It's well-animated and has an actually comprehensible storyline, so you should watch it. B-.

Blade: Not to mention it's cheap! Hmm, well, Epsi already brought up most of the relevent points I would've made, so...uh...SAKURA! KOUME! MURAKUMO! YAAAAAAAAAY! Worship them! Get the series! Skip the "grandma" omake! B+!

Epsilon: (clutching head) NOOOOOOOOO! Why did you bring up the grandma omake!? I cannot get it out of my skull! The images are burned into my retinas!!!!

Blade: Coooooool, I have something I can torture you with now. Umm...don't let that put you off buying the series! It's not that bad. Really. Heh heh heh heh...