Arrival; The Revenge of Chagi!

                      C&A Productions Presents:

                     Ranma: The Kyoto Chronicles
           A Fanfic series by Chris McNeil and Aaron Peori

                              Chapter 2

                   Arrival;  The Revenge of Chagi!

(The sun glows brightly on the horizon as it continues its descent; a
glowing coin of light.  It reflects off blue-tiled, high-peaked houses
done in traditional yaasha style.  Well-maintained yards dot the
perimeter of the houses, with Zen gardens and neatly-trimmed lawns
behind low stone walls.  A few people walk along the spiderweb of
streets and lanes, all paved with trees dotting them at semi-regular
intervals.  Men and women walk hand in hand as older people use canes
to guide themselves and smile congenially at the "young'uns".  One
particular group of four people stand out as they move along a road.
Travel-stained and road weary, they appear to be vagabonds.  A man and
a woman seem to be in fairly good spirits, while the boy looks tired
and the girl is practically gushing.)

Ukyou: There's nothing like Kyoto in the spring!   All that fresh
mountain air...

Ranma(grumbles): Yeah, sure, whatever you say...

Ukyou: Admit it Ranchan, you love travelling.  After all, you spent
nearly your entire life on the road, like me.

Ranma: Actually, my idea of the perfect trip is one to the corner

Genma: You've gotten lazy, boy!  You just miss those nice...soft...
(drifting) comfortable...luxurious beds...

Nodoka: Well don't worry.  We're going to check into a hotel tonight.

Genma: Beds?

Nodoka: For us? Yes. _You_, however, are sleeping on the floor.

Genma: But I've spent a month sleeping on the floor and the ground...

Nodoka: When you've made up for ruining ten years of Ranma's life,
then you can sleep on a bed.

Genma: How long should that take?

Nodoka: At your current rate?  Fourteen or fifteen years.

Ranma: (smiles) Serves you right.

Nodoka: Taking pleasure in other people's discomfort isn't very manly.

Ukyou: Nodoka?

Nodoka: Yes, dear?

Ukyou: Was Genma ever manly, or was he always such a lump?

Genma: I resent that.

Ukyou: You should, it's an insult.

Nodoka: That's really none of your business, dear.   Let's just say
that people don't really have a choice in who they fall in love with,
do they, Ukyou?

Ukyou: (blushes and shifts her feet) Uh...yeah...

Ranma: How long before we leave?

Nodoka: Plan on mailing another letter?  (Ukyou frowns)

Ranma: Yep.  I did promise her...
(On a nearby rooftop is a figure in loose clothing, partially
silouhetted by the sun.  He stares at the group.)

Ranma: ...just wish she could write back.  I'd like to know what's
going on in Nerima...
(The figure's eyes narrow, and he launches himself skyward.  He pulls
his arms in tightly and brings one knee to his chest, with his other
leg out below him.)

Figure(at the top of his lungs): SAOTOME!!!
(Ranma looks up sharply, then dives to the side, yanking Ukyou out of
the way.  The boy flies into the pavement like a torpedo.  There is a
crack, and the pavement explodes in a cloud of grey dust that briefly
obscures the figure.  Ranma rolls off of Ukyou-lucky Akane wasn't
here, ne?-and comes up between her and the dust cloud.  He steps into
defensive posture as Ukyou scrambles to her feet.  The smoke drifts
away, and we see a boy standing in the crater.  He stands straight and
stiff, legs pressed firmly together and arms cocked at his side.  He
is turned slightly away from Ranma, but has his eyes locked firmly on
his opponent.  His short hair is tossed and whipped by a nonexistent
wind.  The boy wears a long trench coat which falls to his knees and
is open in front.  Underneath, he wears a vest and loose pants
designed for maximum flexibility.  For those of you who remember, this
is indeed the mysterious boy from the first megachapter.)

Boy(in a corny French accent): So, at last I have found you.  No more
shall you run from Chagi!

Ranma: Who are you?

Chagi: (eyes widen in rage) You _dare_!?  You dare suggest zat you
know not Chagi?  Chagi, whose life you have destroyed!?

Ranma: No idea what you're talking about, pal.

Nodoka: Perhaps you have my son confused with someone else, Mr....

Chagi(gasps; mortified): Pardon moi, madame.  (steps over and kisses
her hand) I am Chagi.  Senzai Chagi, of Taiwan.

Nodoka: How very polite.  Take notes, Ranma.

Chagi: (steps back) I am looking for one Saotome Ranma.  Is my mind
correct is saying zat he is said boy?

Ranma: Hai, I am Ranma.

Chagi: Tres bien.  (turns to face him) Zen I shall not stay long.
(combat stance) Pray to your gods Saotome, for you shall meet them zis

Ranma: I don't want to have to hurt you...

Chagi: (laughs) You?  Hurt _moi_?!?  Non, it is Chagi who shall hurt
_you_!  I have trained long pour zis day.

Ranma: I _tried_ to reason with him...

Ukyou: And a wonderful job you did, Ranma.

Chagi: Enough of zis!  DIE!!!
(He launches a leaping snapkick.  Ranma ducks, and Chagi sails over
his head to land neatly behind him.  They spin to face each other.)

Ranma: You asked for it!  (rushes forward) KACHUU TENSHIN
(Ranma lashes out, his fists blurring in a series of punches so fast
that not all of them are even visible.  Chagi sees them coming, and
smiles.  With the ease and grace of a ballerina he nimbly dances among
them, avoiding every single blow.)

Ranma(shocked): [Not one of my punches touched him!  This guy is

Chagi: (laughs) You call _zis_ an attack?  My grandmother can do
better, and she is dead!  (suddenly serious) Now face _my_ power!
(Chagi moves in with a lightning fast forward kick that knocks the
wind out of Ranma.  Before he has a chance to recover, Chagi follows
up with a high shin to the side of Ranma's head, a turn kick to the
chest, a spinkick to the shoulder, and finally a foot sweep.  Ranma
collapses, covered in bruises.  Chagi looms over him.)

Chagi: Ha!  How could zis defeat Chagi?  I shall relieve you of your
miserable existence, Ranma.

Ranma: (gets up shakily) This ain't over yet...
(Ukyou watches in horror, Nodoka seems concerned, Genma has his face
plastered against a candy store window.)

Chagi: Oui, it is.  You simply do not know it yet.
(He runs at Ranma and begins launching a rapid series of kicks.  Each
one connects solidly with Ranma, and is punctuated by a yell from
Chagi.  He continues forward, his yells coming more and more rapidly
as he forces Ranma to give ground.  Finally he forces Ranma against
the wall and delivers a powerful pivot kick that rocks Ranma and
causes cracks to appear in the structure.  Chagi steps back.)

Chagi: Why did I ever fear you?  (sighs) Zis is sooo disappointing.
Oh well, let us finish you now.
(He blinks as a hand descends on his shoulder and spins him around.
Chagi is now looking at an enraged Ukyou, who is holding her spatula
in attack position.)

Ukyou: Get _away_ from my fiancee!!!
(She swings the spatula like a baseball bat and strikes him solidly on
the side of the head.  Chagi's eyes go unfocused, and a drunken grin
flits across his face.)

Chagi(disconnected, drifting tone): Non, mom, I don wanna go to school
(He collapses, unconscious.  Ukyou sheathes her spatula and runs over
to Ranma.)

Ukyou(worried): Ranchan!  Speak to me!

Ranma: (sits up) Ow...  (suddenly angry) Ukyou, why'd you go and do

Ukyou(concerned): Did I hurt you, Ranchan?

Ranma: No, you hurt _him_!

Ukyou: (blinks) I was only...

Ranma: (stands up) I had him right where I wanted him!

Ukyou(hurt): Ranma, I was only trying to help...

Ranma: Well don't!  I...

Nodoka: Ranma, learning to accept other people's help is an important
part of being manly.

Ranma: So is helping yourself.  Don't get into my battles.

Ukyou: (looks his straight in the eyes) I can't do that.  No matter
the stakes, no matter what you say, I will _always_ come to help you.
(she steps back) I love you Ranma, and you're supposed to protect
those you love.
(Ranma's expression vies between anger and regret.  Nodoka walks over
to Chagi and examines him.)

Nodoka: For one blow, he seems pretty damaged.

Ranma: So?

Nodoka: (frowns) Ukyou, go find us some towels so we can prop him up,
and call the nearest clinic so they know we're coming.

Ukyou: Hai.  (runs off)

Ranma: Why are we helping him?

Nodoka: It is the responsibility of all people to insure the health of
others, Ranma.


(Scene: inside a restaurant.  Booths line the wall and small tables
dot the floor.  The entire setup is U-shaped, with a serving window
and register at the curve.  At the register, a boy with short brown
hair and a trim, agile body, wearing a sneer on his face and an apron,
is talking to a woman.)

Woman: I don't _care_ about your policy!  Take it back!

Boy: Listen dame, I ain't gonna take it back.  Why don't you do
something _useful_ with your time, like plastic surgery?
(The woman, simmering, stalks out.  As she leaves, she nearly bowls
over Ukyou, who stares after her as she enters.)

Ukyou: What's her problem?  (she walks up to the register) Excuse

Boy: For what?  Being an idiot or just being ugly?

Ukyou: (blinks) Wait a sec...
(Every now and then something happens, something so unbelievable, so
improbable that they defy all rational description.  Things so
baffling that people can only call them one thing: coincidences.)

Boy: Listen lady, either order something or get your ugly puss out of

Ukyou(excited and semi-pleased): SHOTO!

Shoto: (blinks) How do you know my name?

Ukyou: (smiling) Shoto!  It's me!  Don't you recognize me?  Wait a
minute, of _course_ you don't recognize me.  After all, I was me back
then, not _me_.

Shoto: I know people who would pay big bucks for what you're on, lady.

Ukyou: Does this help?  (pulls out her combat spatula and stands in a
menacing stance; in her best "male" voice) Shut up, or I'll use this
to carve out your kidneys.

Shoto(complete disbelief): UKYOU!  How in... (collects himself) What's
with the new look?  Finally hit puberty?
(She smashes him over the head with the spatula, sending him crashing
to the floor.  The patrons in the restaurant applaud.  Shoto sticks
one hand up and gropes around for a while, then manages to grip the
counter and pull himself to his feet.  He rubs his head, which now
sports a bandage.)

Shoto: You haven't changed much, besides the obvious.

Ukyou: Actually, a lot more has changed than you think.  (smiles

Shoto: (grins) Ohhhh, I _see_.  That explains the new look.

Ukyou: What does?

Shoto: (elbows her conspiratorially) So who's the lucky devil?

Ukyou: (blinks) [No, Shoto's too dense to possibly figure out...]

Shoto: C'mon, you can tell me!  After all, losing your virginity isn't
such a big...
(Ukyou uses her spatula to flip him over the counter and face-first
into the linoleum.)

Ukyou(steaming): Get your mind out of the gutter, Shoto!  (allows him
to get up) You just don't _think_, do you?
(Shoto opens his mouth to say something, thinks better of it and

Shoto: You make this too easy, Ukyou.

Ukyou: (waves her arm dismissively) Enough about me.  Since when do
you live in Kyoto?

Shoto: The whole family moved here about three years ago, not long
after you left.

Ukyou: (looks around) So where are they?

Shoto: Ryori and Shobayashi are gone to an electronics fair.  Mom's
out back.

Ukyou: Oh, I missed you guys!
(She hugs Shoto fiercely, who seems confused by the burst of emotion.
At this point, Ranma walks in.)

Ranma: Ukyou, what's taking you so lon... (stops dead as he sees
what's happening) [What the... Who the heck is that guy?]

Shoto: You know, this is illegal in most countries...
(Without stopping smiling, Ukyou picks up Shoto and suplexes him.  She
calmly steps to her feet.  Ranma blinks, looking slightly confused and
hurt.  As Shoto drags himself slowly to his feet, Ukyou looks over and
spots Ranma.  Her smile widens even further.)

Ukyou: Well hi there!

Ranma: Uh...hi...

Ukyou: (helping Shoto up) Shoto, I'd like you to meet my fiancee.

Shoto(disbelief): Fiancee? _You're_ getting married?!

Ukyou: (puts her hands on her hips) And what's so hard to believe
about that?

Shoto: It's just that you seemed more likely to marry a wom... (Ukyou
smashes him one)

Ranma: Uh...Ucchan, who is this guy?

Ukyou: Oh, how forgetful of me.  Ranma, this is Kuonji Shoto.

Ranma: Kuonji...

Ukyou: My brother.
(Ranma's eyes widen and he falls against the wall.)

Shoto: Kinda hard to believe, isn't it?  Especially with me being such
a normal guy and _her_ being a transve-yaaaa!
(Ukyou sends a stream of spatulas after him as he flees into the


(Scene: outside.  Chagi is still unconscious, while Nodoka stands over
him.  Genma is sitting nearby, apparently practising origami.)

Genma: Ta-daa!  (he displays a ball of crumpled paper) Well?

Nodoka:'s a very nice...uh...

Genma: Snowball.

Nodoka: Snowball?

Genma(forlornly): Hai.  I _was_ going for a crane, but that didn't
really work out.

Nodoka: I see.
(At this point Chagi's eyes snap open, and he leaps to his feet in a
single fluid motion.  Nodoka blinks.)

Chagi: Pardon-moi madame, but may I inquire as to ze whereabouts of
young Ranma?

Nodoka: You're not going to attack him again, are you?

Chagi: But of course!  After all, he is ze bane of my existence.

Nodoka: What could he possibly have done that was so bad?

Chagi: (grits his teeth) Nothing less zen ze most awful zing he could
have possibly done!

Nodoka(menacing): Geeennnmmmaaa!

Genma: (waves hands frantically) Oh no!  I had _nothing_ to do with

Chagi: I zee you are busy.  No matter, for I shall return!
(He leaps off to a rooftop and out of sight.)

Nodoka: (sighs) Come husband, I think we should go tell Ranma...


(Scene: inside the restaurant, where very little has changed.  Ranma
looks as if he is about to ask Ukyou something when a cry cuts him

Voice: HERE?!?
(The door to the kitchen flies open, and a woman sprints out.  She
appears to be in her late thirties or early forties, with a smooth
complexion marred only by a few laugh lines around the eyes.  She has
pale brown hair secured in a neat bun by a bluish ribbon, and is
wearing a brown chef's outfit and an apron over her lean frame.  She
hurdles the counter, runs up to Ranma, and with a cry of delight,
lifts the startled boy into the air.)

Woman: My darling!!!  (she blinks) Wait, you're not my darling...

Ranma: I certainly _hope_ not!

Ukyou: MOM!
(The woman drops Ranma and spins to face Ukyou.  She looks the girl up
and down for a moment.)

Woman: Ukyou?

Ukyou: (hugs her) Hai!

Woman:''re...a _girl_ again!  (tears of joy) Oh,
I'm so happy!
(Ranma clears his throat.  Ukyou looks up and steps away.)

Ukyou: (steps over to him) Ranchan, this is my mother Meushi.
(Ranma and Meushi bow to each other.)

Meushi: And who is this, Ukyou?

Ukyou: (smiles) My fiancee.

Ranma: Actually...

Meushi: Fiancee...

Ranma: (cringes) [Uh oh, here it comes...]
(Meushi suddenly scoops up Ranma and spins him around delightedly.)

Meushi: My daughter's engaged!  Joy of joys!  (Ranma looks surprised)
Finally I'll have grandchildren!

Ukyou: (blushes) MOTHER! 

Meushi: (puts Ranma down) Oh don't worry, little one.

Ukyou(absently): Don't call me...
(Suddenly, they both laugh.)

Ranma: Huh?

Ukyou: Just an old...joke between mom and me.  She insists on calling
me "little one"; I hate it.

Ranma(teasing): Little one?

Ukyou: Don't you _dare_.

Meushi: And who is this boy?  (pinches Ranma's cheek) He must be very
special to get my little one out of her shell.

Ukyou: Oh, he's _very_ special.  In fact, you've already...
(At this point, the door opens and Nodoka leads Genma in.  She spots
the group.)

Nodoka: Ukyou, what are you and my son doing?

Ukyou(happily): Nodoka!

Meushi: Did I hear right?  Are you this boy's... (Meushi frowns at
Genma) ...don't I know you?

Genma: I think so...

Nodoka: (steps forward and bows) Hai, I am Nodoka, the boy's mother.
And you are...

Meushi: (bows back) Pleased to meet you.  I am Kuonji Meushi, Ukyou's

Nodoka: (suddenly smiles) It is indeed a pleasure to meet you. (Ukyou

Meushi: (indicates Genma, who looks nervous) Your husband?

Nodoka: Hai... (glares at him) ...though that's a little in contention
right now...
(Genma, sweating, gives her a big smile.)

Meushi: (nods and smiles) I know how it is.  My husband and I went
through the same thing a few months back.

Ukyou: Speaking of dad, where is he?

Meushi: Your father took Ryori and Shobayashi to the fair, little one.

Ukyou: Don't call me that.

Nodoka: Well then, what I have to say can wait until they get back.
Do you mind...

Meushi: Of _course_ not!  You're welcome to stay as long as you like,
though they should be back before nightfall.

Ranma:, what happened to...

Nodoka: It was the strangest thing.  He just got up and left.

Ranma: Great.  The last thing I need is a revenge-driven psycho
chasing me around.

Ukyou: Don't you mean _another_ revenge-driven psycho?
(The view slowly zooms out the window and recedes from them.  We see a
nearby rooftop, decorated with a motionless windcock and one boy
standing as tall and as straight as a lightning rod.  It is Chagi, and
his clothes dramatically ripple and snap in the nonexistent wind as he
glares at Ranma through the window of the restaurant.)

Chagi: [Enjoy your happiness while it lasts, for soon I shall have my


(Scene: nightfall.  The restaurant, called The Honourable Bull, is
closed for the day.  Inside, a golden glow spills out and the sound of
people talking can be heard.  Three people stride up the walk.  One is
a tall man, with a well-groomed black beard and thinning hair; he
wears charcoal slacks and a grey coat geld loosely together in the
front by knots.  Behind him walks a teenage boy almost as tall as the
man, with short, stylish brown hair and an attractive face with
unusually green eyes.  He is wearing a white shirt and brown pants,
both as neat as if they'd just been pressed, and is carrying a brown
dress jacket over his shoulder.  The last figure is considerably
shorter than the other two, barely reaching the man's shoulder.  He
appears to be in his very early teens. He has wavy black hair that is
tied back in a long ponytail, a squarish, average face, and
wire-rimmed glasses.  He is wearing a simple black tee shirt-which
isn't his colour-and dark blue jeans.  Under one arm he carries a
laptop, under the other a box.)

Tall boy(in a lyrical voice): Oh the night is young, and all the stars
twinkle and shine in their early arrogance like the fires of a million
lost loves.  But soon shall _she_, the glorious moon, rise and pale
the stars, as surely as my unnamed destiny does take over the musings
of my heart.

Young boy: Again with the nameless destiny.  Can't you think of
anything else?

Tall boy(sniffs; obviously defensive): I wouldn't expect _you_ to
understand.  You, who journey the roads of electrons and bytes, whose
soul is twined with the machine, could not possibly understand the
driving fire of my purpose.  Someday she will come, as nameless now as
a passing stranger, as distant as the stars, but drawing ever
closer...ever closer...

Young boy: Sure, whatever you say.

Man: (chortles) Quiet, boys.  We're almost home.

Tall boy: Hai, closer to home, and yet further.  For home is only
where one is complete and fulfilled, and without her, I am not.

Man: (sighs) I know how you feel.  With my little Ukyou away...
(sniffs; straightens) But Ukyou is defending family honour, and will
return as soon as Saotome has perished on the spatula!

Young boy: Looks like we've got company.

Man: Company?  How unusual.  Come, let us greet them.
(They walk up to the door, and with a soft "hello", the man walks in.
Inside, Ukyou, Ranma, Nodoka, Meushi and Shoto are sitting around a

Meushi(excited and pleased): Oushi!  Come in here, and bring our sons!
(Oushi, sensing the urgency in his wife's voice, steps over quickly.
The two boys follow him.  The larger one looks around the table, the
smaller one has shifted his laptop and package so it obscures his

Oushi: Hai, what is going on?

Tall boy: Friends?

Ukyou: (smiles) You could say that.

Young boy: (walking past) Hi, Ukyou.  (peeks over the top of his
package at her) Long time no see.

Ukyou: (blinks) Huh?  Ryori, how'd you...

Ryori: I'll be in my room.  (he exits through the kitchen door)

Oushi: U-ukyou?
(Ukyou shakes off her surprise, leaps up and hugs him.)

Ukyou: Dad!

Oushi: My...daughter?  (look of joy) What a glorious day!  My
long-lost daughter has returned!

Tall boy: How joyous.  (smiles) I feel a song coming on...

Ukyou: Save it, bro.  (steps away from Oushi, who has a look of
ecstasy on his face) Feel free to sing it later.

Tall boy: I can't resist, I must sing...
(Ranma leaps up and slaps a palm over the boy's mouth.)

Ranma: Nothing personal...uh...

Ukyou: Shobayashi.

Ranma: Hai.  Nothing personal, Shobayashi, but I think the singing can

Shobayashi: Mrpht mrgr mump?

Oushi: Uh...who are you?

Ranma: (pulls his hand off Shobayashi's mouth) Well...I'm...

Shoto: Ukyou's fiancee.

Oushi and Shobayashi: FIANCEE?!?

Shobayashi: Oh, how wondrous...   Oushi(simultaneous): Ukyou!  How
could you!

Ukyou: Well, you see...

Oushi(raging): Be quiet!  Ukyou, you can't do this!

Nodoka: My sentiments exactly.

Oushi: And you are?

Nodoka: The boy's mother.

Oushi: So you agree that this engagement is a farce.

Nodoka: Finally, someone with common sense...

Meushi: Husband, it is not our place to decide Ukyou's fate.  If the
little one wants to get married, it is her decision.

Ranma: What about me?

Meushi: You stay out of this, it doesn't concern you.  (Ranma blinks)

Oushi: My wife, we must uphold family honour.  Unless I can fully
approve, there will not be a marriage.  Our honour was already
tarnished once, let us not risk it again.

Meushi: (sighs) Not this again...

Oushi: Marriage requires a great deal of research.  I must be assured
that this boy isn't the same as the last one.  (gotta love the irony
here) But thankfully, Ukyou has permanently removed that stain...

Ukyou: (eyes widen) Dad, about that...
(At this point, the kitchen door swings open and Genma walks out.  He
is munching on an apple.)

Genma: Well stocked kitch...

Oushi(explodes): YOU!!!!  (pulls a combat spatula out of nowhere)

Genma: (drops the apple) Uh oh...
(Oushi charges at Genma, screaming a war cry.  He swings the combat
spatula in a sweeping arc that travels too fast for Genma to avoid.
Thankfully, we are all spared a bloodbath as the sharp blade passes
all of five millimetres from Genma's nose.  Oushi roars and swings
again, and the spatula again passes within a hair's breadth of the
stunned Genma.  The blade flashes wildly at Genma again and again,
always missing.  The view pans back, and we see Nodoka calmly holding
Oushi back by the collar.)

Nodoka(level, if somewhat annoyed tone): May I ask _exactly_ why you
are trying to kill my husband?

Oushi: (starts) Husband... (looks at her) And the boy is your son?

Nodoka: (frowns) Hai...

Oushi: That means he's...THE BOY!!!  (he points accusingly at Ranma)

Ukyou(lamely): Surprise.


(Scene: same room, a little later.  The entire Kuonji and Saotome
clans are sitting around two tables that have been moved together.
Genma is doing his best to look small, while Oushi glares at him in
barely contained rage.  Nodoka wears a look of mild exasperation,
Meushi one of sympathetic pain.  Shobayashi is writing on a notepad,
Shoto in grinning with amusement, and Ryori sits apart from everyone,
typing on his laptop.  Ukyou and Ranma sit beside each other with
sullen looks on.)

Oushi: So that's what happened.  (shakes his head) This is
unacceptable, Ukyou.  Honour dictates you kill the boy, not marry him.

Ukyou: (sighs) Dad, I already told you.  I'm not doing this for
honour, I'm doing it for love.

Oushi: (stiffens) Honour precedes love.

Meushi: Now dear, the original arrangement was for a marriage.  Why
can't we simply fulfill that?

Shobayashi: Oh, the sweet tragedy!  My sister, forced into marriage,
caught between families, only to find herself facing the death of her
love when fate finally reunites them!  I could write a whole play
about this!

Shoto: Somebody already did.  It's called "Romeo and Juliet".

Shobayashi(completely serious): Don't rain on my parade.

Nodoka: I think you're all missing the point here.  The agreement
isn't valid.  Genma never consulted _me_ about this, and I have full
rights to determine my son's future.

Ranma: Don't _I_ have any say in this?

Nodoka: Not at the moment, dear.

Oushi: Very well.  Perhaps I can forgive the boy...perhaps.  However,
Genma must pay!  He has sullied our family's honour by this untruthful

Nodoka: If Genma has injured anyone's honour, it's mine!

Oushi: (looks at Nodoka's ironhard expression) I don't doubt
that...but my family's honour must still be appeased.

Nodoka: (sighs) Very well, what do you want?  I promise to consider

Oushi: First, Ranma and Ukyou must be married.

Meushi: Hai.

Nodoka: Out of the question.  First off, we cannot dictate our
children's lives like that, and second, we can't remain here for a

Meushi: Can't remain?

Ryori: Remember that condition she told us Ranma and Mr. Saotome had?

Meushi: Arigato, Ryori.  (looks at Nodoka) What is this condition,
anyway?  And why don't you see a doctor if it's so serious?
(Ranma, Ukyou, Nodoka and Genma exchange glances.)

Ranma:'s kinda personal...

Nodoka: All I can say is that my family picked it up in China, and
that no modern medicines can cure it, so we'll have to be leaving

Meushi(sadly): I see...

Ukyou: Don't worry mom, I'll come back as soon as we find a cure.

Nodoka: Ukyou, you seem to be missing the point.

Ukyou: (frowns) What do you mean?

Shoto: They're leaving you behind, sis.

Ukyou(shocked): WHAT?!

Nodoka: Yes, dear.

Ukyou: But you can't leave me... (looks hurt)

Nodoka: I'm sorry Ukyou, but I can't be sure how safe this trip will
be.  I simply can't allow you to come.

Ukyou: (protesting) But you let me come before!

Nodoka: True, but things have changed.  In Nerima, you had no reason
to stay.  Here you have your family.

Ukyou(desperation beginning to show): But Ranma is my family too!  I'm
his fiancee!

Nodoka: (sighs) Ukyou, we discussed this...

Ukyou(cuts her off): And you said I had to propose in order to marry
him.  Well, I _did_!

Nodoka(carefully): You...proposed... (turns to Ranma) Did you say yes,

Ranma: (sweating) Not exactly...

Ukyou(bursts out): But he didn't say no either!  That means he's
thinking about it, so I'm his...interim fiancee, at least until he
makes up his mind to marry me once and for all.

Nodoka(level, authoritative tone): Ranma, me, you, kitchen, alone.
(She gets up and stalks into the kitchen.  Ranma runs in after her.
The door closes behind him and he grins weakly at his mother, who
stands near a large grill.)

Ranma: Mom, I...
(Nodoka holds up one hand and he falls silent.  She walks over to the
door, yanks it open and all those that were left outside fall in from
where they were listening at the door.  Nodoka glares at them, and
they all leap up and back out while bowing apologetically.  She allows
the door to swing shut after they all take up positions on the other
side of the room.)

Nodoka: (turns to Ranma) Okay, son.  Tell me _exactly_ what you've
told Ukyou about your relationship.

Ranma: (sits up on a counter) I told her maybe.  I told her she's my
friend-my best friend-but I don't think I love her.

Nodoka: Do you?

Ranma: Do I what?

Nodoka: Love her.  Do you love her?

Ranma: (looks at her for a moment) She's my friend.

Nodoka: Then why not just say no?

Ranma(pained): I can't!  You heard what happened when I left her the
first time...and then we were just kids!  Now she _loves_ me, mom!
I'm not blind!  I've seen how she looks at me, heard her talk about
me...  Imagine now, after nearly a year of her hope being built up!
(he sighs) It would tear her apart, mom.  I just can't do that to her.
(Nodoka sits down, a look of profound disappointment on her face.)

Nodoka: (sighs) Being a good person isn't always easy.  (looks up)
Ranma, you've put us in a difficult situation.  We can't take Ukyou
with us, that's a given.  But you can't leave her without finalizing
this, one way or the other.

Ranma: I wish I could.  If it was Kodachi or Shampoo I could say no in
an instant.  If it was Akane... (a mysterious look crosses his face) I
can't marry Ukyou.  I just don't feel that way for her.

Nodoka: (looking determined, she stands up) Very well.  (looks at
Ranma) Let's go back.
(Ranma looks curious as he follows Nodoka back into the main room.
Everyone else is back around the table, and the Kuonji's are
apparently catching up on things.  Everybody falls silent as they spot
the duo.  Nodoka gestures for Ranma to join the others, which he

Nodoka: After careful consideration of the matter, I have made my
decision.  (deep breath) We can't take Ukyou with us, but we can't
leave with the situation as...complicated as it is.  Therefore, until
Ranma makes his decision one way or another, we will have to remain in
(The reactions are as follows:
Ranma-falls over in his chair
Ukyou-looks ecstatic
Genma-looks hungrily at some bread on the table
Oushi-nods sagely
Meushi-smiles happily
Ryori-nods absently, still typing
Shoto-opens his mouth...
Shobayashi-...shuts it for him.)

Shobayashi: (sniffs) How poetic.  Forced to chose between his fatal
illness or the heart of his love.

Ranma: Fatal illness?

Shobayashi(unfazed): Will he save himself, knowing it will break her
heart, or will he sacrifice himself for a short happiness?  (claws his
hands skyward, tears rolling down his cheeks) The bittersweet tragedy
of it all!

Ranma(whispers to Ukyou): What's his problem?

Ukyou(whispers back): Too many cheap romance novels when he was young.

Nodoka: Ukyou will, of course, stay here.  My family will check into a

Meushi: Nonsense, I won't have you going to some hotel.  You'll stay

Oushi: She's right.  When we bought this place we made sure there was
an extra room against the day Ukyou returned.

Meushi: Hai.  We can put Ranma in with Shobayashi... (Ranma looks
critically at the boy, who is now ranting on about "irony" and "poetic
justice") and Ryori can stay with Shoto...

Ryori(eyes snap up; dread): NO!  (begins to shake) Please, not THAT!!!
It's a fate worse than death!  (Shoto laughs evilly)

Oushi: That leaves Shoto's room for Ukyou, and our extra room for the

Genma(hopefully): Bed?

Nodoka: No. (Genma looks downcast; to Oushi) We accept.


(Scene: morning, the sun climbs up between the mountains, sending a
blanket of golden light over the high-peaked tile roofs.  Now, in the
morning light, we get our first good look at The Honourable Bull.  The
front part is the restaurant, and is shaped like a half-circle, with
the door at the point furthest from the rest of the building.  The
restaurant portion is only one story, whereas the next part is two.
It is not as long as the restaurant, but is just as wide, and has a
green-tiled roof that slopes backward.  At the back is a deck, and a
well-groomed lawn that ends at a sloping hill leading into a small
pond.  The overall impression, one can't help but notice, is of a
toilet.  The view changes to a room in the house.  It is decently
sized, with a large window overlooking the pond.  The room has various
posters along wall, of things like the Venus de Milo and the Mona
Lisa.  A bookcase is up against the side wall, and has a collection of
books ranging from Shakespeare to Danielle Steele.  Two futons are in
the room.  One has been folded up neatly; in the other Ranma is spread
out, snoring like an ox.  The door opens.  Ranma mutters something
sleepily, the only recognizable word being "Ryouga".)

Voice: Wake up, lazy bones.
(Ranma's eyes blink open, and he sees a hazy figure at the door.  It
coalesces briefly as an angry black-haired girl.)

Ranma(mumbles): Akane?  (he blinks, and the figure clarifies) Huh?

Nodoka: It's time to get up.

Ranma: (rubs his eyes) Already?  What time is it?

Nodoka: Seven o'clock.

Ranma: (sitting up; groans) Seven?  I thought we were staying.

Nodoka: We are.  It's just time to get up.
(Ranma grudgingly gets to his feet.)

Nodoka: I want you to get washed and dressed, then come downstairs.

Ranma: Why?

Nodoka: We aren't freeloaders, Ranma.  If we stay here, we earn our
keep.  And that means work.  (Ranma groans again)

Ranma: (as she turns to leave)

Nodoka: No, you're not getting out of this.

Ranma(seriously): That isn't it.  I was just wondering when we were
going to tell them the truth about my...condition.

Nodoka: (pauses with the door half-open) When the time is right,
Ranma, when the time is right.
(As she leaves, she doesn't notice Ryori leaning casually against the
wall, smiling to himself.)


(Scene: the restaurant.  The breakfast crowd has come in, made mostly
up of teenage girls who are all staring at Shobayashi as he sits in
the corner strumming on a guitar.  They all bat their eyelashes, laugh
girlishly and wave at him.  He seems blissfully unaware of them all.)

Shobayashi(singing softly): 
And I'd endure the most telling trial,
Just for your happy and grateful... (frowns) (pauses to write
something down on a pad)
This I do... (tunes guitar; different pitch)
This I do for that one... (smiles)
This I do for that one moment of bliss;
Held by your sweet and loving kiiissss...
(One girl nearly faints.  Ukyou, who is standing by the register with
Meushi, blinks in surprise.)

Ukyou: What's going on here?

Meushi: (looks up) Oh, this.  (smiles) It seems Shobayashi is able to
enchant any girl within a five kilometre radius.

Ukyou: He must go out a lot.

Meushi(sadly): No.  Since every woman he's ever met has treated him
like this, he doesn't realise that any of them are even interested.

Ukyou: Not even _one_?

Meushi: Well...there is Kala, but...
(At this point Nodoka and Ranma enter.  Ranma looks thoroughly
disgusted.  Ukyou waves happily at him.  He absently waves back, then
stares at the scene across the room.)

Nodoka: What can we do to help?

Meushi: Huh?

Nodoka: I explained to my son that we would not be freeloaders.

Meushi: Normally I would insist that you are our guests, but I see you
are determined.  Well, Ranma could wipe down the tables...

Ranma: Ugh!

Ukyou: That's okay, Ranchan.  I'll help.

Meushi: You're a good girl, little one.

Ukyou: Don't call me that.

Nodoka: You and Ukyou get started.  I'll help out in the kitchen.

Meushi: We usually prepare our own food...

Nodoka: Oh, I won't be cooking.  I'll be keeping Genma out of the
pantry.  Excuse m...
(Suddenly there is a resounding crash, and the wall near Shobayashi
explodes.  The hopeless romantic dives for the ground as the dust
floats into the crowd of heartsick teens.  Then, out of the dust runs
the lithe figure of Chagi, his trench coat trailing behind him.)

Chagi: Face your doom, Saotome!

Meushi: What in...

Ranma: Not _you_ again...

Chagi: Hai, and zis time... (he leaps up) we will not be interrupted!
(He spins around and kicks the ceiling then begins to move rapidly
along it, while kicking at lights, sprinklers and ceiling fans along
the way.  Everyone stares at his for one second too long as Chagi
suddenly falls to the ground, landing next to Ranma.  With a cry he
backflips, deftly putting both legs under Ranma's armpits and pulling
him up.  Then he tosses Ranma towards the hole he made on his way in,
and instantly lands and runs after him.  Before Ukyou, Meushi or
Nodoka can react, a large number of items fall from the ceiling and
land between them and the two combatants.)

Ukyou(concerned): Ranchan!
(Meanwhile, Chagi runs out from underneath the collapsing ceiling just
in time and leaps at Ranma.)

Ranma: Ah geez.  (he rolls to the side as Chagi's foot blasts through
the floor where his head used to be) Can't you take a hint?
(He flips to his feet.  Chagi steps back into combat position.)

Chagi: Heh heh heh.  Beg for your life, Saotome.  Zat is ze only way
you will survive.

Ranma: (cracks his knuckles) I don't beg nobody for nothing.

Chagi: Have you learned nozing?  You cannot defeat moi.

Ranma: (cups his hands) We'll see about that.  (Chagi's eyes narrow)
You caught me by surprise last time, pal.  Now I'm ready for you!

Chagi: We shall see.
(He leaps towards Ranma.  Just as he reaches his peak, Ranma thrusts
his hands forward.)

(The familiar ball of yellowish light expands from his palms, adding
to the restaurant's structural damage and blocking Chagi's flight
path.  The ball obscures our view of Chagi for a moment.  Then Ranma
cancels the move, and blinks as he sees Chagi hanging onto a ceiling

Chagi: Nice try.
(He lashes out with both feet and catches Ranma in the forehead,
sending the boy flying out the hole.  Outside, Ranma plows into the
dirt with a cry.  He picks himself up, and again is forced to roll
away as Chagi's foot plows a crater in the ground where his head used
to occupy.  Ranma stands up and blinks, trying to clear his vision.)

Chagi: Noone will save you zis time.

Ranma: [This guys got to have a weakness...] What did I do to you,

Chagi: You really don't know, do you?  Very well.  Before I destroy
you, I shall tell you of my pain.  It started seven years ago...
(Flashback: a city in Taiwan.  We see a school, where a good number of
pre-teens walk about.)

Chagi(voiceover): I was ze most respected child in Taiwan.  All ze
people loved me...
(As we watch, a younger version of Chagi steps out of the school.  All
of the students stop playing and stare at him in undisguised fear.  He
grins evilly and stands with his hands on his hips.)

Chagi(voiceover): Noone had ever beaten me before.  I was ze greatest
martial artist in ze city.
(We see a large boy with a mohawk push his way to the fore and stand
in front of Chagi.)

Large boy(typical stupid voice): SENZAI!  (cracks knuckles) You beat
up my brudder.  Now youse gonna pay.

Young Chagi: (laughs) You are no match pour moi.
(The large boy roars and charges, looming over the calm Chagi like a
freight train.  Then at the last second, Chagi leaps up and the boy
grabs thin air.  He floats for a second, then lands on the gorilla's
head, and with an air of calm plants one foot on the back of the
other's head and pushes himself off.  The large boy is unable to halt
his momentum, and with Chagi's additional push he careens into the
school wall.  It creaks, and falls over on top of him.  Chagi,
smirking, bows at the dead-silent crowd.)

Chagi(voiceover): Zat was, until zat fateful day...
(In the background we see a figure approaching behind Chagi.  It comes
up quickly, and we see it is a pre-teen Ranma.)

Young Ranma: Move it, pal!  I'm late!
(Young Chagi turns his head just in time for Ranma to use it as a
springboard and vault into the schoolyard.  Chagi collapses to the
ground and stares at the receding figure, reaching feebly for it.  He
looks half-dead.)

Students(begin to whisper): Did you see that?...he knocked out
Chagi...can you believe it...somebody's strong enough to beat him...
(more brazen) Chagi lost!  What a wimp!  We don't have to fear him
(The crowd erupts in peal upon peal of mocking laughter.  Chagi groans
and his eyes close as he falls unconscious.  Back to reality, where
Chagi is shaking in rage.)

Chagi: I was _humiliated_!  My precious school no longer respected
moi!  (eyes close) It took my zree weeks to find out who you vere, and
by zen you had escaped!  (opens eyes; points accusingly at Ranma) I
have sworn to destroy your life just as you have destroyed mine!

Ranma: (laughs incredulously) That has got to be the _stupidest_
reason for revenge I have ever heard!  Even Ryouga's bread thing was

Chagi: You dare belittle my pain?!  I shall teach you not to mock moi!
(He runs at Ranma, who, having had time to catch his breath, is able
to backpeddle away from Chagi's first kick, and continues to
backpeddle across the lawn.  Chagi gets angrier as Ranma continues to
dodge his blows.)

Chagi: You cannot run forever!
(Shobayashi emerges from the hole in the wall.  Upstairs, we see Ryori
and Shoto watching from windows.)

Shoto: Ha!  Look at the coward!
(Ranma glares at Shoto, and a heel flashes past his defences and
strikes him in the chest.  Ranma gasps and makes a giant leap
backward.  He lands on the downward-sloping hill, where he flails
around trying to keep his balance as Chagi rushes in.  It should be
noted that at this point nobody can see the two combatants.)

Chagi: (doing a crouching slide at Ranma) You're mine! (he comes
incredibly close to Ranma, who thrusts a fist downward; Chagi starts
(In a blur Chagi spins around, extends one leg and avoids Ranma's fist
while simultaneously launching his heel into his chin.  This picks up
the boy and sends him flying back; however, the move does not end
there.  In a flash, Chagi spins around again and crashes another foot
into Ranma's chin, sending the boy further up and back as Chagi spins
upward and forward again.  The move continues until Chagi has landed a
total of six hits within seconds.  Ranma flies up for a moment, then
drops like a stone into the pond, sending up a geyser of water.  Chagi
spins and extra time, then falls gracefully into the pool, managing to
retain his balance.  He looks around at the rippling surface, too
brown with thrown-up dirt to see anything underneath.)

Chagi: Tell Chagi you no drown on him.
(At this point, the water in front of Chagi erupts as a figure bursts
out of it.  Briefly, the sun sillouhettes the figure as water showers
all around.  Ranma-chan goes into a combat stance.  Her face is
bruised, and she is growling.  Chagi, who had been about to attack,
shifts his foot and stands in confusion.)

Chagi: Pardon-moi madame, have you seen...

Ranma-chan: You jerk!
(She cocks back her fist and throws a powerful haymaker.  Chagi,
caught by surprise, takes the blow full in the face and flies into the

Ranma-chan: You idiot, look what you did!  (looks down at herself) I
should've expected this...
(The figure of Chagi shifts, and Ranma-chan leaps into defensive
posture.  She blinks as Chagi, obviously unconscious, slides up to his
chest in the pond.)

Ranma-chan: [One punch?  One punch and I win?]
(She shakes her head and walks out of the water.  Shobayashi comes to
the edge of the hill and looks down.  He spots Ranma-chan and gives
her a dazzling smile.)

Shobayashi: Excuse me, miss.  Did you see a boy pass this way?

Ranma-chan: (shoving him out of the way) No.  Get lost.
(She stalks towards the house, muttering to herself and completely
ignoring Shobayashi.  He stares after her.)

Shobayashi: That girl...didn't even say "hello"...  (he suddenly finds
himself in a world of sparklies and bubblies and floating roses as he
spins around, his hands clasped to his chest and hearts for eyes) It's
the _sign_!  Never has any woman done this!  My nameless destiny!!!
My true love!  (he returns to the real world, only to find her gone)


(Scene: the large kitchen of the Kuonji's.  Oushi is staring at the
demolished portion of his restaurant.  Genma is using the distraction
as a chance to steal some recently-boiled ramen.  Ranma-chan throws
open the delivery door and stalks in.  Genma looks at her and blinks,
then in a sudden flash of insight splashes the contents of the pot on

Ranma: Gaah!  That's hot!  
(He is now covered with noodles that fall over his head like hairs.
Oushi turns to face him.)

Oushi: Look what you've do...uh...why do you have my ramen on your

Ranma(sourly): I thought this was how I'd eat today...
(At this point, Nodoka, Meushi and Ukyou walk in.)

Nodoka: The damage isn't really too severe...oh, hello dear.

Ukyou: (relieved) Ranchan!  You're okay...uh...why...

Ranma: Take a guess.  (Ukyou and Nodoka nod knowingly) Now if you
don't mind, I have something to take care of upstairs.
(He walks over to the stairwell and disappears up them.)

Shoto's voice: Hey Ranma, nice hair...OW!!
(As everyone watches, the battered and bruised form of Shoto bounces
down the stairs.)

Ranma's voice: Much better.


(Scene: nightfall.  A "closed" sign adorns the front of the
restaurant.  Inside, Ranma, Genma and Oushi are finishing with the
wall, which they've filled in with new wood panelling.)

Oushi: That should do it.

Genma: Can we eat now?

Ranma: Stop thinking about your stomach.  It's gotten me into too much

Genma: But it wasn't my fault this time...
(Across the room, Nodoka and Ukyou are sweeping up.)

Ukyou: (hesitantly) Mrs. Saotome?

Nodoka: Yes dear?

Ukyou: You aren't mad at me, are you?

Nodoka: (stops) Why would I be angry?

Ukyou: It's just that I'm forcing you to stay here...

Nodoka: Ukyou... (pauses) I'm not the one who needs to go anywhere.  I
don't have a curse.

Ukyou: (looks pained) I can't leave him, Nodoka...I know it's crazy, I
know it's unreasoning, but I love him.  (forced) And I know how he
feels...I know it's not love, but...

Nodoka: You know?

Ukyou(sadly): Hai, but I can't give up.  (she looks pleadingly at
Nodoka) People can change, right?  They can feel different after a
while, right?

Nodoka: (moving away) I don't think you need to ask me those
(Ukyou stares after her.  The door opens, and Shoto and his older
brother Shobayashi enter.)

Shobayashi: like the burning fire of my soul when I look at
her, her voice more beautiful than that of a million songbirds...I
just can't stop thinking of her!  My brain burns with her image!

Shoto: Ever considered a lobotomy?

Shobayashi(completely serious): I don't recall asking your opinion.

Shoto: (pats him on the back) That's what brothers are for.

Ranma: Boy, am I glad this day's over.
(Outside, on his perch on the building across the street stands Chagi,
his trench coat billowing around him.  He watches the activity with a

Chagi: [So I cannot kill you yet, Saotome.  Zen I will destroy your
life...starting with your fiancee!]
(He leaps away, clothing flapping dramatically.)


(Scene: Ranma's new room.  He sits on his futon, a pad of paper in his
hands.  He is writing something.)

Ranma(voiceover): ...and I don't know what I'm going to do about this
Chagi nut, much less what I'm supposed to do about Ukyou.  Well, it's
getting late.  I gave you the Kuonji's address, so write back soon.
(Putting down the pad, Ranma looks out the window and into the
star-filled night sky.  The view of one particular constellation takes
precedence, and slowly a picture forms in it.  A picture of a
black-haired girl with a winning smile.)

Ranma: [Akane...I...I'll make it back...someday.]

                          FADE TO BLACK

Author's postscript: Well, thus ends the second chapter of Ranma: The
Kyoto Chronicles.  We hope you enjoyed it.  Now to clear up a few
important points.  This series exists because it is based on an
ongoing series of role-playing games.  The further games, upon which
this series will be taken from, will be played by Blade and Epsilon.
Since a PC will always be Ukyou (with one other PC being variable),
Ranma will eventually become somewhat less prominent, and Ukyou will
become more of the main character.  Why do we tell you this?  Just in
case you don't like that, at least you were warned, so don't flame us.
Now, does this mean we're going to set up Ranma and Ukyou?  Not
necessarily.  At this point, Ranma's feelings between Ukyou and Akane
should be clear to all but the clinically braindead.  Things will
develop as they develop; since being an RPG makes this storyline only
too fluid.  Both of us have ideas on how this series should turn out,
so it is impossible to predict now what could happen.  It should also
be noted that besides Ranma, Ukyou, Genma, Nodoka and one undisclosed
other all of the regular characters in R: TKC will be original ones.
Though some might seem to be familiar (i.e. Shobayashi), their
characters should develop until there is nothing but a superficial
similarity.  Remember, Ranma 1/2 contains what can arguably be called
the most varied and interesting cast of characters ever assembled, so
making a new cast with absolutely no similarities is well-nigh
impossible.  Chapter 3 of Ranma: The Kyoto Chronicles is "School of
many battles! It's time for Tom.", and introduces the last of the old
series regulars. Enjoy the ride.

Blade and Epsilon

All content unless stated otherwise is ©2021 Chris McNeil. He can be contacted here. The banner picture is courtesy of Jason Heavensrun. You can find more of his stuff at Checkmate Studios.